Have you ever felt yourself be in a habit of saying or doing something that you can't quite break out of? For me, it has been saying I am sorry...a lot! People who know me will most certainly agree that I will apologize for everything! Because for some strange reason, which I might add is out of others understanding, I can find how I was at fault...somehow...I had to be! Who else would be????
This is really not funny, but I can't help but laugh at myself as I write this and just how out of balance it seems. But I'm not going to be too hard on myself this time. That would be my usual mode as it is for many of us, to make judgments about what we are and are not, or who knows what other evidence our mind can use to further it's case for negative thinking. But No!, not this time. I know what has brought me to the, " I'm sorry state" and that is all I need...the awareness that this is where I am and where I am moving from helps me to move forward to get more of what I want. I have a newly coined phrase for that called a "conscious choice point". It is the place where I can use the awareness that has come to me, refuse to harbor judgement about it, and make a conscious choice to move into what I want as a gift to myself and then that also becomes a gift to others.
This was like an AH HA moment that has been coming for a long time. I knew I was doing it and even wanted to say I was sorry for saying it...not all that pretty. It came to me over the last two months as I have been dealing with a back issue that has put restrictions on what I can and cannot do that has been a drain on my energy. There were things I could not do or energy I did not have to give that made me feel not as capable...and everyone knows how uncomfortable that feeling is! Well, it is where I went a time or two also. And then, just like that, I realized this is one more way I keep myself a victim, by being less than . It is one thing to apologize for something I truly did, but quite another to do it from a place of not being equal. Think about that for a moment and realize of powerful that can be? How often by our own hand ,do we deal a powerful blow to our inner being, our very own hearts? That's where those messages end up you know unless they get redirected.
Each one of us has this incredible light that is inside just waiting to beam out into the world and for our own well-being and as a gift to others. What awareness comes to you that would help you remove the perspective that clouds the light? When I think about this simple idea of saying I'm sorry too much and the blessing from learning this, I can't help but to feel free and joyful. It is like a breath of fresh air! So that is why I picked this particular picture because it makes me feel free and alive. I want that for you too.. give yourself a little freedom to remember the great spirit within you and is a guide that is helping you illuminate your very being. Close your eyes and take a breath and for this very moment, allow light to fill your heart and let it fill you!
So for now...I'm sorry...not so much! And when I forget...thank you for reminding me!
Joy to you,
Sandy
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