I'm Sorry...Not So Much!!!

Have you ever felt yourself be in a habit of saying or doing something that you can't quite break out of? For me, it has been saying I am sorry...a lot! People who know me will most certainly agree that I will apologize for everything! Because for some strange reason, which I might add is out of others understanding, I can find how I was at fault...somehow...I had to be! Who else would be????

This is really not funny, but I can't help but laugh at myself as I write this and just how out of balance it seems. But I'm not going to be too hard on myself this time. That would be my usual mode as it is for many of us, to make judgments about what we are and are not, or who knows what other evidence our mind can use to further it's case for negative thinking. But No!, not this time. I know what has brought me to the, " I'm sorry state" and that is all I need...the awareness that this is where I am and where I am moving from helps me to move forward to get more of what I want. I have a newly coined phrase for that called a "conscious choice point". It is the place where I can use the awareness that has come to me, refuse to harbor judgement about it, and make a conscious choice to move into what I want as a gift to myself and then that also becomes a gift to others.

This was like an AH HA moment that has been coming for a long time. I knew I was doing it and even wanted to say I was sorry for saying it...not all that pretty. It came to me over the last two months as I have been dealing with a back issue that has put restrictions on what I can and cannot do that has been a drain on my energy. There were things I could not do or energy I did not have to give that made me feel not as capable...and everyone knows how uncomfortable that feeling is! Well, it is where I went a time or two also. And then, just like that, I realized this is one more way I keep myself a victim, by being less than . It is one thing to apologize for something I truly did, but quite another to do it from a place of not being equal. Think about that for a moment and realize of powerful that can be? How often by our own hand ,do we deal a powerful blow to our inner being, our very own hearts? That's where those messages end up you know unless they get redirected.

Each one of us has this incredible light that is inside just waiting to beam out into the world and for our own well-being and as a gift to others. What awareness comes to you that would help you remove the perspective that clouds the light? When I think about this simple idea of saying I'm sorry too much and the blessing from learning this, I can't help but to feel free and joyful. It is like a breath of fresh air! So that is why I picked this particular picture because it makes me feel free and alive. I want that for you too.. give yourself a little freedom to remember the great spirit within you and is a guide that is helping you illuminate your very being. Close your eyes and take a breath and for this very moment, allow light to fill your heart and let it fill you!

So for now...I'm sorry...not so much! And when I forget...thank you for reminding me!

Joy to you,

Sandy

An Artist's Prayer

O Great Creator,

We are gathered together in your name

That we may be of greater service to you

And to our fellows.

We offer ourselves to you as instruments.

We open ourselves to your cereativity in our lives.

We surrender to you our old idea's

We welcome your new and more expansive ideas.

We trust that you will lead us.

We trust that it is safe to follow you.

We know that you created us and that creativity

Is your nature and our own.

We ask you to unfold in our lives

According to your plan, not our low self worth.

Help us to believe that it is not too late

And that we are not too small or too flawed

To be healed~

By you and through each other ~ and made whole.

Help us to love one another,

To nurture each other's unfolding,

To encourage each others growth,

And understand each others fears.

Help us to know we are not alone,

That we are loved and lovable.

Help us to create as an act of worship to you.

~Julia Cameron

This prayer is in the book, Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. I think it ia a prayer for life. Blessings!

Sandy

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Coming into the Sacred...

This week I heard soneone talk about an interview that Dan Rather had done years ago with Mother Theresa. He asked her, when you pray, what do you say in your prayers? She replied, nothing... I just listen. He again asked her, what does God say to you? Again she replied, nothing...I just listen.

Surely one might think that a woman who unselfishlly gave of yourself to the poorest of the poor might have diect line to God. I would have guessed that when she prayed she may have asked for the suffering of those she served to be eased. Perhaps, she might hear His voice as clear as her own when he talked to her, guiding her days. But she insisted that the answer to Dan Rathers question was nothing...I just listen.

This idea has been in my thoughts most of the day as I wondered about its meaning for me. I can picture her in my mind, kneeling in prayer to God and His arms outstreached to meet hers, with only sacred silence between them. It is a place of surrendering the daily cares and stepping into the sacred communion with the deepest part of ourselves and something much greater than we can know. It is a place of oneness with ourselves and spirit that helps us know more than we can see and feel the enourmous possiabililttes that surrounds us.

I'm not sure what you might make of this story or what insights you might have, but as I write this I can't help but feel what it is like to put everything aside and be present with the sacredness that forms the connection between me and the spirit that guides my days. May this be a reminder to you to find the time to surrender the cares of the day and come into the place that is holy within you. May your days be blessed and your life abundant.

Sandy

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